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Best Sarcastic Quotes that will inspire you to live life happily

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Sarcastic Quotes | YourSelf Quotes

Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes 

“When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.”

Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes 

“Sarcasm is like cheap wine – it leaves a terrible aftertaste.”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

“My neighbour’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”

“I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life”

“It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”

“Do you think God gets stoned? I think so,… look at the platypus.” ― Robin Williams

“Be Always nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

“If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.

“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.”

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“True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defence.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Family

“My family is temperamental, half temper, half mental.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Family

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” ― Sam Levenson

“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”

“The key to humour is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that’s how self-loathing is made palatable.”

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves.”

“My neighbour’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”

“I don’t believe in plastic surgery, but in your case, go ahead.”

“Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.”

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne

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“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” ― Oscar Wilde

“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it.”

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” ― Will Rogers

Sarcastic Quotes On Life

“It’s amazing how you can have the worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull.”

Sarcastic Quotes On Life

“An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.”

“There are only two things a child will share willingly, communicable diseases and his mother’s age.”

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”

“No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”

“Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to their face.”

“Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”

“What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.” ― Aldous Huxley

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“Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”

“Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing, so I don’t have to interact with chatty co-workers.”

“My natural-born sarcasm, when it’s unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times, and I’m the first to admit that.

“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”

“I feel like sarcasm is important in a relationship.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Friendship

“Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid stuff alone.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Friendship

“Never let your friends get lonely. Keep annoying them.”

“I love my phone because all my friends live inside it.”

“Friends come and go but enemies remain and build up.”

“I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.”

“Sometimes Americans don’t quite get my sense of humour. My good ol’ British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.”

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“True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.”

“If you have crazy friends you have everything that you’ll ever need.”

“Good friends are like stars. You can’t always see them, but you know that they’re there.”

“You and I aren’t friends. We are our own small gang.”

“When our phone fall we panic. When our friends fall we laugh.”

“So I changed my Facebook name to Benefits. So when you add me it says you are friends with benefits.”

“Best friends know how stupid and crazy you are but will still be seen with you in public.”

Famous Sarcastic Quotes 

“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”

“Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.” ― Eugene Bertin

“If you want to call a family meeting – turn off the Wi-Fi and sit in the room where it is located.”

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“They say each day is a gift! Well, I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one.”

“Knowing your family so well that you can make out whose coming by the sound of their footsteps.”

“If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defence against stupidity.”

“I am a bit sassy, with some sarcasm thrown into the mix, but stoic at the same time – and brash.”

“I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”

“I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

Famous Sarcastic Quotes 

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